His ex-wife, fiancée and children are hiding his financial documents. What can I do?

Dear Quentin,

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My father, 75, died without a will. At the time, he was divorced from his fifth wife and had a fiancée. He left behind three children: Me, the oldest at 57, from his first marriage, and a son and daughter, 29 and 32, from his fifth marriage. He was quite well off, being part owner of a business — at least, a “minor” multimillionaire.

However, his fiancée would only give us some of his possessions, and his three cars at the time of his death. She wouldn’t give us any of his legal and financial paperwork. We are pretty sure he didn’t have a will, but we believe he had a life-insurance policy, a 401(k) plan, and other investments. His fiancée swears that she is the beneficiary of his life insurance, but she hasn’t produced any proof.

We have had his mail forwarded to my brother to try and find out who his lawyer is or insurance company is or any paperwork regarding his personal business.

I have several questions:

1. How do we go about finding out if he had life insurance or a will without any paper trail?

2. How do we find out about his checking and savings accounts, and 401(k) without paperwork?

3. We do believe he died intestate and that his assets will have to go through probate court; however, my half brother has taken control of the situation, including having him cremated and sent to him for burial. He gets along great with his sister, but since I’m 25 years older and from the first marriage we were never close, and I feel like they’re “teaming up” with their mother (his most recent ex-wife) to take things from his estate, and not letting me know what’s going on.

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My other questions:

4. How do we get to the point of his estate going through probate and how is a third party appointed to oversee that? Can my brother legally just take over? I want to…